P.S. There’s More: From Doubt to Hope

John 20:24-31

But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

Dear beloved of God, grace and peace to you from our crucified and risen Savior Jesus who is the Christ.  Amen.

Thomas has two earlier appearances in John’s gospel.  First is when the disciples are worried about heading back to Judea to visit their now dead friend Lazarus, because the religious leaders have just tried to kill Jesus.  Thomas calls to the disciples and with bravado or resignation, says, if Jesus is going back, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

Thomas next takes the stage after the last supper, when the disciples are gathered with Jesus in the upper room and Jesus has just washed their feet and Judas has just left to betray Jesus.  Jesus starts a long discourse where he’s getting the disciples ready for his departure, for his death.  Jesus says, 

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?”

Then there’s today’s  moment, that we just heard read.  And I just have to say, isn’t Thomas great?  He’s like in my top five biblical characters.  I just love that he says all the things.  He’s the one who gives voice to what others are thinking.  He’s bold and maybe even impetuous.  

This week I came across a poem by Malcolm Guite that’s called “St. Thomas the Apostle.” It begins like this:

“We do not know… how can we know the way?”
Courageous master of the awkward question,
You spoke the words the others dared not say
And cut through their evasion and abstraction.
Oh doubting Thomas, father of my faith,
You put your finger on the nub of things

That’s such a great line: “You put your finger on the nub of things.”  It’s what Thomas does.  He sees the most central, most basic, most essential part of the issue at hand.  And then he names it.

If we head back to the place where folks were just trying to kill us, it’s pretty likely that we might die.   

Jesus, you’re speaking about things we don’t understand.  How can we follow you when we don’t know where you’re going?

“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” Thomas can’t unsee what he’s seen.  Think about that.  Thomas has seen Jesus’ execution.  He’s seen him dead on the cross.  That image that will forever be seared into his consciousness.  He watched his teacher and friend die.  

Thomas stood by as Jesus breathed his last breath.  He saw the nail holes and saw the soldiers pierce Jesus’ side.  Thomas saw the blood and water pour out.  He can’t unsee that.  

There are those moments in our human existence that leave an indelible mark upon us.  Moments that are burned into our brains.  Things that we will never forget.  Events that become a part of us and how we see the world.  When we watch a loved one breathe their last breath after a difficult time with cancer.  When we watch a child come into the world.  When we’re confronted for the first time by the extremes of poverty, or when we glimpse one of the wonders of the natural world and behold the beauty of creation.

These moments change us.  We can’t unsee them.  They are forever a part of who we are.

Last week the world heard the testimony of Darnella Frazier, the young woman who at age 17 happened to be at the scene of George Floyd’s murder and captured the video footage that held the world’s attention last summer.

During her testimony, Darnella was asked how viewing that scene has affected her life, she said, 

“When I look at George Floyd, I look at my dad. I look at my brother. I look at my cousins, my uncles, because they are all Black,” Frazier said. “I have a Black father. I have a Black brother. I have Black friends. And I look at that and I look at how that could have been one of them.”

“It’s been nights I stayed up apologizing and apologized to George Floyd for not doing more,” she added. “And not physically interacting.

Darnella is but one of many people, hundreds of people, thousands of people who can’t unsee what they saw.  What she saw that night and what she captured on video has been burned into the memory of millions of people.  

It confirmed a story that black indigenous and people of color have long lived with, that their lives have long been and continue to be undervalued in this country and in this world.  They can’t unsee what they’ve seen.  

As a country, that moment has changed us, and many of us wonder if anything can be done to make things different, to make things better, to repair and heal the deep wounds that we are living with.

But we can’t unsee what we’ve seen.

And that’s what I love about this story.  Thomas told the disciples, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

Thomas demanded something else that he couldn’t unsee.  He needed a new story, a new narrative, a new visual to hold alongside the picture of pain and suffering and death.  To believe that something more is possible Thomas needs to see that something more exists.

Thomas doesn’t ask for the signs of crucifixion to be erased, he wants to see that the horror of what he’s witnessed can stand alongside a new thing, a better thing, a living thing.  He wants to see that death and new life exist in this world.  Thomas asks to see both.

And Jesus delivers.

“We do not know… how can we know the way?”
Courageous master of the awkward question,
You spoke the words the others dared not say
And cut through their evasion and abstraction.
Oh doubting Thomas, father of my faith,
You put your finger on the nub of things
We cannot love some disembodied wraith,
But flesh and blood must be our king of kings.
Your teaching is to touch, embrace, anoint,
Feel after Him and find Him in the flesh.
Because He loved your awkward counter-point
The Word has heard and granted you your wish.
Oh place my hands with yours, help me divine
The wounded God whose wounds are healing mine.

It is the wounded God who still bears the marks of torture and abuse and death that is the risen Jesus.  It is the God who died who is also now living.  

The promise of Easter doesn’t paper over the pain of this life, it doesn’t erase from our collective consciousness all that we’ve seen and done and experienced.  Instead Jesus promises more.  More life, more joy, more hope.  And like Thomas, Jesus invites us to see, to hear, to taste and to touch. 

Jesus’ gift to Thomas includes a blessing for us.  We don’t have the bodily presence of crucified and resurrected Jesus bursting into this room this morning.  We won’t be able to draw near to the wounds of Jesus.  But together we are Christ’s body, and together we have seen much, so much.  The wounds of this world are real, but so is the hope and life of God that moves through us and among us.

Today there are 75 people in both of our sanctuaries worshipping together, for the first time in over a year.  And yet there are hundreds of you who are still worshipping at home, or on the road, or whenever you might find yourself today.

Even as the painful reality of what we’ve navigated this last year is still with us, hope for a new future stands alongside it. There are going to be a lot of awkward questions along the way.  There will be things that we don’t understand and don’t know how to do, yet.

But Jesus continues to be our way forward, showing up among when the doors are closed and we’re afraid. Showing us a way, inviting our help in healing this world.

This is God’s blessing for us, even if we can’t yet see it.